Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A+ Viking dick
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
