We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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