i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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