You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
