i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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