stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
