I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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