i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
