Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
