your parents love me but you hate me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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