So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
