Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
