We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
