i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
