yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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