He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
