the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
