the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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