just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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