that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
