he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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