He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You can't just leave with hair like that
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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