I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
