just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
