I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
