Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
