Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
