we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
