So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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