I feel like abortions should bother me more
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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