I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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