Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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