dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
