Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
