He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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