Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
