Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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