its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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