He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
