I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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