on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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