If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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