Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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