I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
