How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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