Someone shit on the floor
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
