How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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