and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
