bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the condom got lost in my hair
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
