Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
