yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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