You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
