so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
